I love reading books with helpful relationship advice. I don’t just read them when I’m experiencing problems in my personal relationships, I read them because they help me to understand my partner in a much deeper way that is hugely beneficial to our relationship. Learning about peoples different love languages and ways of expression helped me to understand my partner better and avoid any misunderstandings. The following books were the most beneficial to me…
1. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt by Gary Chapman
Chapman helps you to identify your partners love language and any adaptions that you might need to make to ensure you understand one another. He explains the importance of remembering that humans are complex individuals, therefore will have different expressions of love that can vary significantly. It’s important to identify your partners (and vice versa) so no one is feeling neglected in the relationship. Because misunderstandings can potentially lead to a relationship breakdown. He also gives many suggestions on ways that you can express your love to your partner in a way that they recognise it.
2. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman
Also another book from the relationship expert Chapman. In this one, he gives a deep insight into what makes a long-lasting relationship. He gives a step by step guide to how to identify what your partner prefers in a relationship in order to find common ground. Then he moves on to explore the different types of love language in more detail, specifically focusing on 5 different types. He also gives a strong message throughout about the dangers of comparing your current relationship to your previous one. And the importance of starting fresh so you don’t self-sabotage.
3. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver
This is for the married couples out there! It gives extremely helpful insights on what makes a successful marriage and what commonly leads to a divorce. It will help you identify what’s going wrong in your marriage (if anything is) and the steps you can take to fix it. He gives many helpful descriptions of the many different ways in which couples argue – you’ll definitely relate to at least one. Along with relationship strengthening exercises that you can practice with your partner! It will also help you to weigh up the pros and cons of your marriage and ultimately help you come to a conclusion of if it’s worth saving or not. However, you don’t just have to be married (I’m not) to gain a helpful relationship from this book.
4. Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind – and Keep – Love by Amir Levine and , Rachel Heller
This book essentially revolves around the theory of adult attachment. For those that haven’t heard of this theory, it suggests that the emotional bond between parents and their children hugely impacts the bond that develops between adults in intimate relationships. He dives into the science and complexities of adult attachment issues and how to fix them so you can maintain a healthy relationship. It focuses mainly on 3 different types of attachment- secure, anxious and avoidant. Which quizzes to help you identify which one you are!
5. Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson
Jonhston will help you to allow yourself to be more open and in tune with your partner’s emotions so that you can connect on a deeper level. She explores the many emotional underpinnings of relationships and believes we are usually dependent on our partners the same way we were dependent on our parents. For protection, support and comfort. You will find many useful tips and advice on how to navigate any turbulence that may appear in your relationships. Whether you’re looking to save a relationship or simply enrich it, this book can help you.
6. Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
This book is one of the most recommended by professional relationship therapists! So that’s a good enough reason to read as any. Hendrix aims to help you remove any negative habits you have in your relationship that is preventing you from developing a deeper connection with your partner. If you’re having relationship issues, she will help you rediscover why you choose your partner. And also how to let go of the power struggle, learn to listen, increase the fun, improve sex, dealing with disarrangements and working towards your future together.